Pegging is a Bullshit Term (Opinion by Thalia Gillott)

Pegging is a Bullshit Term (Opinion by Thalia Gillott)

Redefining Pegging (Opinion by Thalia Gillott)

Pegging is a bullshit term, not the idea of anal sex where a man receives, just the term in itself; pegging. Hi everyone, it's Thalia again and this week I wanted to start strong on mostly an opinion piece, after all what is a blog if not just a space for me to yell into the void my thoughts and opinions. This week I wanna talk about how pegging is a bullshit word made up by men to remove ideas of emasculation around anal sex, and further is a LITTLE bit of a transphobic term. I also wanna be very clear, I am all for and love anal sex, #buttsluts is something I'll preach until I die but I really don't like the P word.

Let's start with the emasculation that is supposedly around anal sex and thus the masculine urge to find another word. Let's face it, anal sex feels good we've all got something around or in our butt that's gonna make us feel a little pleasurable tingle. Anal sex is typically associated with gay men as it is one of the primary ways for them to have penetrative sex; since this activity is associated with gay men it is seen as an act that is not masculine and is even seen as the more immasculating of the two roles since you are receiving. Further modern porn shows women receiving anal sex as something brutal and painful reinforicing the idea that to recieve anal sex is to be weaker and submissive; while masculine culture dictates one needing to be strong and dominant in everything they do.

Yet these ideas don't take away from the pleasure we can feel from putting something up our butt so there was suddenly a need to make it less gay. Thus the creation of the term pegging came about, in 2001 Dan Savage ran a contest under the pretense that there was no word for a man who was penetrated anally by a woman; I would argue that there was one, namely anal sex. The term is meant to differentiate sex with a strap on from sex that does not involve a strap on, and for two reasons, this is a problem.

Firstly it implies lesbian sex with a strap on is somehow less valid as it is not "true sex", yet true sex must be any sex that exists. This further adds to harmful stereotypes around lesbian or female same sex relationships as they are already seen as a phase, fetishized, or seen as less threatening to a mans relationship with a with a woman. Examples of the third point include threesomes with another woman to satisfy a bisexual partner but not with another man as there is a fear that the mans girlfriend will sexually prefer another man as he can do everything he can do, yet a woman is unable to penetrate in the same ways he is; which leads right into my second point about how this term and idea is transphobic.

Alright so this might sound like a stretch but stick with me here, pegging is supposedly different from anal sex because it is not a man penetrating them but instead a sex toy that is solely designed for pleasure. This leaves transgender women who haven't had a genital restructuring surgery (GRS commonly referred to as gender reassignment surgery) in a very awkward area because of the bioessentialist definition. A trans woman prior to GRS will usually still have a penis and that makes wearing a strap-on near impossible leaving the only option for anal penetration to be with their penis, yet this act is defined as gay and thus a male on male action by the caveat that it is not with a toy. We know this can't be true because a woman is a woman not a man, regardless of the qualifier of transgender or not; thus there must be something wrong with the definition of pegging.

This time I'm going to genuinely ask you, what is the difference between a dildo and a biological penis in this context? The penetrator is a woman and the one being penetrated is a man, to me this sounds an awful lot just like regular anal sex. I really don't see why we would need a different word for if a woman is the one penetrating the man rather than the other way around. If you notice this post doesn't even touch on how this subject may affect non-binary people as there are countless ways this is problematic or different in situations involving an enby; yet all of them break the idea of needing another term for anal sex with the one receiving being male.

It's very rare I will yuck someone's yum but I really don't feel like that's what I'm doing here because I fully believe everybody should at least three times in their life try to have something up their bum for pleasure. Total aside but I'm a big believer in the rule of three to see if you like something, once cautiously to see what it's like, once knowing what you're walking into, and once more with an open mind but an understanding of what you're trying; I apply this to a lot of things in life and try to earnestly be in every new experience so I can really determine if it fits within my ideas of enjoyment. That aside behind us I think we can wrap this post on up, pegging is a word there's no need to use, and the use of the term perpetuates harmful ideas from queerphobia to transphobia. As always, I can be reached at thaliagillott@gmail.com if you have a question or comment, or to suggest a topic for the next post! Thanks for reading, and have a nice week!!

Back to blog

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.